Woof Woof

“Woof, Woof. — Woof.”

“What is it Lassie? You say that Timmy has fallen down the old mine shaft and broken his leg? You run on ahead, and I’ll get a rope.”

“Timmy! Timmy. Can you hear me?”

“What do you want Dad?”

“Timmy? What are you doing up here?”

“I saw you running with a rope and I thought I’d follow.”

“Lassie said that you had fallen down the mineshaft.”

“Dad. Don’t believe everything Lassie says. Come on home and have milk and cookies.”

~•~

“Woof, Woof–Woof, Woof.”

“What’s that? The pigs are loose and are in the corn crib? I better corral em up.”

“Well, it looks like the pigs are just fine. I don’t have to do nothing about it.”

~•~

“Woof–Woof–Woof.”

“What? You say that Darrel our hired man is making love to my  wife down in the basement? Wait till I get my shotgun. Never can trust a good looking hired man.”

“Amos! What are you doing down here in the basement with a shotgun while I’m doing the laundry?”

“Well, I just wanted a clean rag to wipe it off.”

“There’s plenty of clean rags up stairs. If you want clean overhauls for tomorrow you better leave me alone.”

~•~

“Woof, Woof. –Woof. –Woof.”

“What’s that Lassie? You say that little Sally has her foot stuck in the railroad track and the 4:20 will run over her?  By golly. It’s almost 4:20 now. We better hurry.

Wait a minute! I can hear the train, but I don’t see Sally. Oh My God! I got my foot caught in the track and here comes the 4:20!

Aieee!”

~•~

“That was a nice funeral. Brung tears to my eyes.”

“It sure was Darrel. Now that I got rid of that old coot you and I don’t have to sneak around anymore. We can spend  more time in  bed. I’ll get someone else to milk the cows. And I owe it all to Lassie. What a smart dog.”

“Woof. Woof. Woof.”

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