Truth ; Some Thoughts
(a collection of aphorisms– and aphorisnt’s)
Tag: humor
2002, A Space Farce
Ron imagines the hijinks on the set.
Break-Up
“So, where are you going to find these dumb broads?”
“Well, there’s this big, new, 80 inch, wraparound 3-D, holo screen, and a 3-Fem program.”
Bloody Mess
Bill took pride in his neatness. Not like some of those dropouts they hired. He was precise.
He finished the condiment section. Ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, pickles. He stood back, admiring his work.
Woof Woof
“Lassie said that you had fallen down the mineshaft.”
“Dad. Don’t believe everything Lassie says. Come on home and have milk and cookies.”
Beautiful Intel
“Mr. President; Here are the secret documents you asked for. Also the Russians are waiting to come in with their photographer.”
Bad Cat
“Now you listen to me. You’re a BAD cat. No doubt about it! ”
Lake Lackawanna Mystery
It wasn’t a mystery till it was discovered by the Crook twins, Jessie and James (their parents thought that was hilarious).
The Fly Returns
I gave the parking valet the keys to my classic white Jaguar XK 120. “Don’t scratch it,” I said, and went inside. It was first time I’d eaten at ‘Gambino’s Family, Italian Restaurant.’
Nature’s Little Joke
That’s why everyone wore GloomWear, to hide from the world.
Alien Abduction
Everyone has heard stories about being abducted by aliens. I mean, who hasn’t. It’s a very popular yarn, and it’s always the same. You’re snatched away and are never heard of again.
The Fly
The waiter brought my coffee and soup. I put a package of equal, and two creams, in the coffee and stirred. I unfolded my napkin, and laid it across my lap. I picked up my soup spoon and stopped. There was a fly in my soup.
“Waiter, waiter.”
Do It
A week later, a tearful, Mrs. Smith returned. “Oh, Mr. Chang. It’s terrible. He’s after me all the time. I don’t get any rest. I cant get any house work done. It’s sex, sex, sex, sex, every minute. And he wants me to do the most disgusting things. What am I to do?”
Mr. Chang
“I’m Lt. Noonan, of the LAPD Bunko Squad. I’d like to ask you some questions.”
“Don’t own Bunco. Have Sony Flat screen. Good price. Very happy.”