Do It

This entry is part of the series Mr. Chang

The small sign said: C.T. CHANG  Potions, Nostrums, and Pills

A middle aged lady pushed open the door. The lights came on, and she saw a little Chinese man, dressed in red silk robes.

“Are you Mr. Chang?”

“Yes, for many years. Why you here?”

“It’s a very delicate subject. I don’t know were to start.”

“If don’t know where to start, must be about sex. Maybe no sex, maybe too much sex.”

“It’s my husband, Thomas Smith, he doesn’t seem to want me any more. It’s very sad.”

“How old, Thomas? Some times happen in old age.”

“He’s 54, I’m 51.”

“That not too old. You past baby-making age. Could have a lot of fun with sex. I give you special pills.” Mr. Chang went in the other room, and came back with a small envelope, containing three, green pills with a D on them.

“You give him one each day. See change.  Here, take new card.” He gave her a card; “MAKE HAPPY HERBS.   CT. CHANG. All organic. All natural,” and the address. “Come back in a week. See if make you happy.”

A week  later, a tearful, Mrs. Smith returned. “Oh, Mr. Chang. It’s terrible. He’s after me all the time. I don’t get any rest. I cant get any house work done. It’s sex, sex, sex, sex, every minute. And he wants me to do the most disgusting things. What am I to do?”

“Hire maid. Nothing disgusting in sex. All fun. What he want you to do?”

“He wants to do doggy style, and other things, that I can’t mention.”

“Doggy style, very popular. No problem with doggy style. You give him pill each day?”

“No, I put all three in his morning coffee.”

“Very big mistake. Make horny all the time. Now have problem, maybe Chang can’t fix. You hire young maid, and have husband come in to see Chang. I find solution.”

“Mr. Chang, I’m Thomas Smith, Flora’s husband. She said I should see you about some problems we’ve been having. It’s about sex, Mr. Chang. I’m afraid that Flora’s frigid. She never seems interested in doing it. Says she’s tired all the time. It’s driving me crazy.”

“Very sad story. Chang hear it many times. Maybe can help. You hire maid, yes? How old?  Is attractive? Married or single?”

“Her name is Rosa. She’s about 30, nice looking and single.”

“That very good start. I give you special, ‘D’ for ‘Do It’, pills. You give four at same time
to wife, and two, at same time to maid. You still get housework done, just not as much.”

Ten days passed. Flora, Thomas and Rosa, came in, all smiles.

“Oh, Mr. Chang, how can we ever thank you,” said Flora. “I’m a changed woman, and so is Rosa. We’re doing things together, I never thought possible, and owe it all to you. We’ve discovered combinations and positions, you only dream about. We bought  a California-King size bed, so we can all sleep together. I just hope that we don’t wear Thomas out.”

“Maybe Chang can solve problem. You do it doggy style, now?”

“Oh, yes. We both love it, don’t we Rosa?” Rosa nodded with enthusiasm.

“O K. I make you Saint Bernard, named Bruno. He very good at doggy style. Never  need pill. Give Mr. Smith a rest. Now, everybody one big, happy family.”

“Mr. Chang, how can we ever thank you?”

“You thank me with credit card. Come back in one year, for new pills. Bring dog.”

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