Green Pills

I feel great. I look great too. So does my wife Tiff. That’s short for Tiffany. A real stunner. Great body, beautiful, movie star face, and tits you just stare at. Of course I’m good looking too. Tall and handsome. Muscles, with blond, wavy hair. I Can bench press 280 pounds. Our kids Tommy and Lilly, are great also. Smart as a whip. Active in sports, good grades. All our neighbors are good looking and great. In fact, the whole city looks great. And not just the city, the country looks great. Who am I kidding, the whole world looks great.

We take our Green Pills every morning. Everybody takes their Green Pills in the  morning. I mean everybody!  They’re free. A month’s supply for the whole family comes in the mail. Who could argue with that? And there’s the supplements. We take those.

We have the California supplements. People in other parts of the country have different supplements and regional variations. The ones in Texas are different then the pills for Maine and Vermont.

There are world variations too. Something like the regional codes on the DVD’s.

So you can’t play an American DVD in Germany. Green pills are fine tuned into hundreds of different types. Each pill is embossed with a country code and an area code, like the telephones use. China has 32 different pills for different areas. When you take a trip or a vacation, the travel agent provides the correct pills for that country and the cities you visit. If you don’t take the country pills your vacation is lousy. Everything looks glum, run down, poverty stricken and backward.

We don’t take any religious supplements. Just not interested. You can tune in these 3-D Religious Hours. They’re all over the place. Preachers, Priests, or Ministers, up on stage with gold crosses, statues, or colored lights. They are looking over huge crowds. I mean huge! These people build stadiums that hold 40,000 and they fill them up with true believers, waving their arms in the air. They give away free pills but they’re just after your money.

Sometimes Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons  knock on our door. The Jehovah’s Witnesses always have a couple of young kids along, learning the trade. The Mormons are young kids 18 or 19. They have white shirts, black tie, black pants, and name tags that say ELDER. If they’re elders at 19? What are they, at 60? I play a game. I ask them in, which is what they are after. They start telling me about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon and the Angel Moroni Then I ask them for some Mormon pills for me and my family. That usually stops them dead.

Green Pills are free from the government. So are regional supplements. But religious supplements come from the churches and they‘re not cheap. It’s a dollar a pill, a day, per person. And it goes up for some cults. A major expense. The minimum is a months supply. A lot of money for a big family. They will give you some free to get you hooked, then look out!  I plead with them till they come up with 120 pills. A big chunk of money out  the churches pocket. It all goes in the garbage disposal. Just doing my bit for non-belief.

There are people who don’t take Green Pills. They are called, “Stoppers”. Real nuts. Look just like normal folks, but they talk about Reality and The Truth, and how it will Set You Free. They stand on street corners handing out literature. They say that the government is pulling the wool over our eyes. Things are not really what they seem. You are being drugged to be complacent sheep. They hold noisy protests. The cops have to come and throw them in the clink. Make them take Green Pills. That shuts them up. You will see videos of big gatherings. All of a sudden, someone in the background holds up a sign that reads; MAX- 27. It’s a Stopper. Well, the cops are on him  like fleas on a dog, and down he goes.

A couple of years ago, a Stopper talked me into laying off Green Pills. I gave it a try. It takes a week to clear your system. What a mistake. Things started to look so different, I couldn’t believe it. Tiff looked fat, dumpy, and homely. I looked like an old scarecrow with thinning hair. Our neighbors looked like shit. The city was run down and squalid with garbage in the  street.

    I went back on the Pills damn fast. You better believe it. Things  improved 200 %.

(originally written Nov. 1, 2013)

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