Meth Hunter

Tumo was a meth hunter. Not the bulk stuff which was easy to find, but the crystal meth which brought big bucks.

He stoked up on a big breakfast of ground meth and was perking right along. He adjusted his temperature, strapped on two collecting bags and his breaker bag and went out into the freezing day. He was hunting for the good stuff. In a few hours he found a ledge with some methcycles hanging down. They were milky but tapered to a nice point. Can’t pass those up. He took out a breaker stone and carefully knocked them off and put them in the collecting bag. He looked around for more, then discovered a bonanza of long, clear, sharp, crystals growing in a cavity. The finest he had ever seen. With his thinnest breaker stone he tapped the bottoms till the broke off at the base. A hunter’s dream. He downed a handfull of fragments and headed back.

Through the swirling ice and snow, he spotted a woman lying on the ground. In this weather that was sure death. He knelt down beside her. She was barely radiating.

“Save me,” she whispered.

Who could resist the pleading of a beautiful woman. Tumo broke off the tip of a crystal and put it in her mouth. “You’re starving. I’ll have to start off slow.”

She chewed that up and begged for more. He fed her all of his crystals and two methcycles, before her temperature returned to normal and she was radiating warmth. He had just lost a fortune but it was worth it. She was stunning. The most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Her name was Lome.

She had a large round head covered with thick yellow fur and deep sunken blue eyes. A delicate mouth rimed with pearly white grinders. Her thick neck fur changed to orange down to her heavy shoulders, then to red as it went down her barrel like body, to dark blue on her thick-set arms and legs, finally black on her hands and foot pads. A living rainbow of color. He had never seen anyone like her. Tumo felt the stirrings of love.

“Have you been mated?” he asked.

“No, I’m still a virgin.” said Lome shyly.

“Marry me and you shall eat crystals for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

“Of course I’ll marry you, you silly boy. I fell in love with you the minute you put that bit of crystal meth in my mouth. You were so loving and tender. But you needn’t be so extravagant. Regular meth will do very nicely. Maybe crystals for Sunday brunch.”

They married a week later.

On their wedding night they radiated so much heat that the walls of the room started melting. But Tumo and Lome didn’t care. They had each other to cuddle and interlock fur with.

She went hunting with him. She was good hunter. They became wealthy and respected. Pretty soon they had a light grey boy named Tamp. Then a darling little girl named Sele, as beautiful as her mother, a giggling, furry, little rainbow. They were the happiest family on Titan, Saturn’s largest moon. Breathing the icy cyanide air and eating frozen methane crystals, Sleeping in a big furry bundle.

Tumo said; “It’s a wonderful life.”

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