Eduardo!

“Eduardo! Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“You know what! If my father caught us he would kill you, and send me to a convent.”

“Oh, but Margherita. You are already killing me. I shall die if I don’t have you.”

“Well then go ahead and die. I will just pick the next handsome boy that looks at me.”

“How can you say such a cruel thing?”

“Because it’s true. Besides. It is only two months till our wedding. Control yourself.”

“But you are all that I think about day and night.”

“That’s why you look so tired. You had better get some sleep, or you won’t be much use on our wedding night. Stop that! I don’t want to end up in a convent.”

“I can’t wait two months Margherita. Let’s run away together. We will go to Madrid.”

“But it’s only till our parents agree on the wedding plans and the dowery. Stop playing with me. I have to confess all this to the priest.”

“You confess what we do to a priest?”

“Of course. I confess every Sunday. Sometimes he has me come in more often.”

“What do you tell him?”

“Everything. He asks me questions and I answer.”

“What kind of questions?”

“If I‘m  a virgin? What thoughts I have about boys? Have I ever seen a naked man? What would I do on my wedding night? How often? Things like that. He gives me advice.”

“And you tell him all these things?”

“Of course. He’s a man of God. He has to know what’s in my soul in order to save it.”

“What kind of advice, does he give you?”

“He said that the only method the church approves of is: If I’m flat on my back with my eyes closed, doing the Stations of the Cross in my mind. He’s a holy man.”

“Anything else?”

“He tells me of some of the things he hears in the confessional. He wants me to know these things so I can avoid them.”

“What kind of things?”

“Well some women like to put it in their mouth. Some couples even do it on their hands and knees just like animals. The worst is with the woman on top, bouncing up and down. I don’t understand how that can be any fun. He even told me something so horrible that I can’t even repeat it.”

“Please tell me Margherita, so that I won’t be tempted to do it.”

“No I won’t. It’s too disgusting. But you have to be on your hands and knees to do it. He said that there are even women who swear by it. He also told me about other women’s confessions. How women do it to themselves, how often, and with what. He wants me to know all of these things so I won’t do them.  Sometimes he has to tell me many times to make sure I understand.”

“My God! Margherita. You must go to confession more often and learn more about these ways. What does he do after you talk to him?”

“Well, he’s very quiet for a very long time. Then he tells me to say some Hail Mary’s.”

“I hope you will take his saintly advice on our wedding night.”

“Oh yes. I shall lay on my back, thinking of the Stations of the Cross. I’m glad that I wont have a brute for a husband, who would make me do any of those other things. Especially that bouncing thing or even that one I can’t talk about. I’m glad I have you Eduardo. You would never force me to sin like that.”

“Well Margherita, the passion of the wedding night could turn a man into a brute.”

“Oh, do you really think so?”

“Yes, there’s always that chance.”

“Oh, Eduardo. I can hardly wait.”

(written Oct . 9, 2013)

Leave a Reply