Nature’s Little Joke

I had a sexy dream about Janice, and woke up glowing.

Took a shower. Put on my Haynes ‘GloomWear’, with the ’No-up Crotch’. A quality product. Very popular with men. The women’s had the ‘Hider-Liner. They came in all sizes. I mean ALL sizes. A size for everyone. I pulled on Gloom-Sox. Had breakfast, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and worked the hood carefully over my hair and ears, till only my face was showing. Now came the bad part. I shut my eyes, pooched my lips and sprayed.

I looked like the worst minstrel cartoon you could imagine. But so did every one else.

I pulled on neutral gloves, then my regular business suit. I took the 7:20 to work. Everyone looked as Black as the Ace of Spades. That used to be a racial joke, but no more. Men tried to counter it with good clothes, bright ties and belts. Women had a hell of a time. They had to spray neutral, over black. Some times with disastrous results. There were Spray Salons you could got to, if you had the time and money. But it was more do-it-yourself.

All this started 42 years ago, when scientists inserted some glow-in-the dark jelly fish DNA into lab animals to trace various drugs. The DNA transferred species and infected animals, then humans. Glow in the dark people.

Since everything glowed, they couldn’t see the affect of the drugs. They inserted octopus DNA, which allowed them to change the color to something besides green. That worked. But octopus can blend in with their surrounding. The same thing happened as with the glow DNA. It jumped ship into animals. Not animals with hides like horses or cows. Just the ones with skin, like pigs, rabbits, and lions.

DNA did what DNA does. It mutated, so you got colorful cats, dogs, and people. Then it mutated again. You got people with vertical stripes, horizontal stripes, like a zebra, rings, spots, like a leopard. Actually those were pretty sexy. I mean leopards have a beautiful coat, and Leopard Girls became sexy models.

Everyone thought that we had overcome color prejudice. but it started up in an odd way. Who would have guessed that DNA had a sense of humor? It was color, and pattern prejudice. People had red heads, green arms and legs and a purple body. Or, each arm and leg, a different color. When different patterns got married, their kids were a nightmare, a gibberish of colors. All glowing in the dark. They tried to pass laws, that only the same patterns could married. But that was condemned as Socialism, Fascism, Communism, Satanism, or any kind of ‘Ism’ you could imagine.

That’s why everyone wore GloomWear, to hide from the world.

Color pattern matching sites made a fortune. “Do you have rings, that start at your feet and move up? Start at your head and move down? Do you flash on and off in blue? We can find a mate for you.” If your spouse started at the bottom, and you started at the top they would met at the middle and bounce back.

Natures little joke.

I had horizontal Zebra strips. Janice had vertical stripes. If we married, our kids would be crosshatched.

What the hell. Let’s go for it.

2 Comments

Leave a Reply