Dream Lover

The small sign said: C. T. Chang.  Potions, Nostrums, and Pills.

Darlene opened the door into a darkened room, and entered. It closed automatically.

“Hello? Hello? Anybody here?”

“Yes.” A light came on, and she saw a little Chinese man, dressed in red silk robes.

“Oh, there you are. Why do you keep it so dark?”

“Save money. What you want?”

“Well, I heard that you do things.”

“Do many things. What thing you want?”

“I want someone to love.”

“OK. I make you Saint Bernard. You love it.”

“No, no! I want someone to love me back.”

“Saint Bernard, very loving dog.”

“I want a boyfriend. That’s what I want.”

“Boyfriend cost more.”

“That’s all right. I have the money.”

Mr. Chang took an abacus off the shelf.

“Now, you tell me what you want in boyfriend.”

“He should be tall.”

“OK, tall.” Mr. Chang slid some beads on the abacus. “What next?”

“Good looking, with a nice build.”

More beads.  “What else?”

“He has to be intelligent and sensitive.”

“You want both?”

“Yes, and he has to love art and music and want children. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like standard, “Dream Lover Package”. We have special this week. We throw in good hair and teeth. No extra charge. What else?”

“He should be handy around the house, and be able to fix things, like the car.”

“You want mechanic, not lover.  Very cheap. What else?”

“No, no. I want your Dream Lover Package, and, he has to love only me.”

“Only you? That extra.”

“I don’t care. I’ll pay extra.”

“Now, How big?”

“Maybe, 6 feet?”

“No, how big, you know, BIG.”

“Oh, that? I never thought to much about it. What would you recommend?”

Mr Chang, pulls out a board with different size penises. they went from small, to a huge one at the end.

“Oh my goodness. Does any one choose the big one?”

“Number 10?  Some do, but many return for number 7. More happy with number 7”.

“Do you think number 7 would be right for me?”

“No complaints with 7. You like it. You want cut, or no cut?”

“Oh, please, don’t cut it.”

“No, just end. Cut or no cut?”

“Which is better?”

“No cut, more fun.”

“What should I name him?”

“Name your problem. Money my problem. I take Master Card or Visa.”

“I have a Master Card.”

“OK. You come back Monday. You pick up Dream Lover Package. Bring clothing.”

“Thank you Mr. Chang. You’ve made me the happiest girl in the world.”

“All say that. You come back Monday.”

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